Bruce indicated in his 20/20 interview that people should still use the male pronoun to refer to him
In Bruce Jenner’s groundbreaking 20/20 interview, he addressed the issue of what his ex-wives knew about his transition. Bruce clarified that he’d always been heterosexual and that this was a separate issue from his gender identity. He also said that the first person he told about his gender issues was his first wife, Chrystie. Chrystie thought she could “fix” him, he explained. When he was separated from Chrystie, he fell in love with his soon-to-be second wife, Linda Thompson, a singer-songwriter and actress who had dated Elvis. Bruce didn’t tell Linda about his gender identity until they were married and had two young boys together.
Bruce admitted to Diane Sawyer that he “wasn’t as fair as I should have been” to the women in his life. That includes Kris Jenner, although Kris knew about Bruce’s transition for some time as he was taking female hormones for five years in the 80s and still had breasts when he met her. (Bruce stopped the hormones as he wasn’t ready to go through with it.) He admits that he “downplayed it some” to Kris because he didn’t want to hurt her. It sounds like Kris was accepting but that she expected Bruce to keep it private. He spoke glowingly about her and their years together and called her a good person. As Kaiser reported yesterday, he said that if Kris was ok with his transition he’d probably still be with her.
That may have been the case with his second wife, Linda, too. In a new first-person editorial on The Huffington Post, Linda explains how she learned that Bruce was transgender and how hard it was to take. She went to therapy with him and it sounds like they really tried to make it work. Linda writes that she couldn’t be married to a woman, though. I’m including some excerpts below but if you’re interested and have time I really encourage you to read her full essay.
On her awesome life with Bruce
Bruce and I actually made quite a great couple at the time. We got along exceedingly well and enjoyed many of the same activities, once he taught me how to do the sports that he enjoyed. Bruce taught me how to jet ski, water ski, snow ski, play tennis, eat healthfully, work out regularly, and basically lose my fear of getting my hair wet and opening my eyes underwater. Well, I may be exaggerating about losing my fear, but it is fair to say that Bruce unleashed a natural athlete in me. I became a pretty good tennis player, and Bruce and I even hosted our own celebrity tennis tournament benefiting United Cerebral Palsy in Children for several years. It was called the Bruce and Linda Jenner Love Match.
Bruce and I spent our days living at the beach, jet skiing, walking on the beach every morning with our coffee, sailing on a Hobie Cat, playing tennis, and otherwise just enjoying each other and many of the same activities. I thought we lived a pretty idyllic life.
How Bruce told her he identified as a woman
When Brody was about 18 months old and Brandon was about 3 and a half years old, Bruce came to me one day with a very somber look on his face and said, “There’s something about me that I really need to tell you, something you need to know.” I truly thought he might possibly tell me he had had an affair while on the road. But that’s not what he wanted to confess to me. Bruce told me that he identified as a woman. Not understanding exactly what he meant, I questioned him. “What do you mean you identify as a woman?” I asked. “What does that mean?” He replied that it meant that for as long as he could remember, he had looked in the mirror and seen a masculine image staring back at him where there should have been a feminine reflection. Bruce lamented, “I have lived in the wrong skin, the wrong body, my whole life. It is a living hell for me, and I really feel that I would like to move forward with the process of becoming a woman, the woman I have always been inside.”
People have asked me, “Were there any signs or clues through the years that Bruce might have had this issue? Any evidence he wore your clothes?” No. Not a clue. Nothing. Nada. Never.
How she learned about Bruce’s gender identity
I would venture to say that 30 years ago, very few of us were adequately educated about the world of gender dysphoria. I certainly wasn’t. I was living in my little Malibu cocoon of marital, motherly bliss with my world-champion, muscular, athletic, handsome husband. So my reaction to Bruce’s shocking declaration was one of confusion, even desperation. I suggested that we go to therapy. I needed to understand fully what Bruce’s issue was, and then to determine if it was something we could overcome or “fix.” I was naïve. As I said, I was pretty ignorant of the fact that being transgender isn’t something that can be overcome, fixed, prayed away, exorcised or obliterated by any other arcane notion. Being transgender, like being gay, tall, short, white, black, male, or female, is another part of the human condition that makes each individual unique, and something over which we have no control. We are who we are in the deepest recesses of our minds, hearts and identities. I had to learn that life lesson and apply it to my own expectations for my future and the future of my family.
I found a therapist who specialized in gender dysphoria. Her name was Dr. Gertrude Hill, and we began going to her right away. She was a lovely woman who very calmly, and as gently as she could, massacred me with the information that broke my heart into a million pieces. She told me in one of the first few sessions, “Linda, this is who Bruce is. His identity is that of a woman, and that will never, ever go away. You have a choice to make. If Bruce goes through with his gender reassignment, as he is now planning to do, you have the option of staying with him after he becomes she, or you can divorce him and move on with your life.” She told us that 25 percent of transgender people commit suicide because they are so depressed and feel so hopeless.
How they split up
As devastated as I was, my heart bled for Bruce and what he must have lived with his entire life. It’s impossible for those of us who are comfortable living in our own skin to fully grasp what an imprisonment that must feel like to be born into the wrong body. I know it’s difficult to understand, to emotionally or even intelligently wrap your head around. It was extremely difficult for me to comprehend, and adjust my life accordingly to, the realization that the man I had married — the very masculine, gorgeous, ideal, wonderful hunk of a man — would be no more. The human entity was still alive, but it truly was like mourning the death of the person I had grown to know and love.
Bruce and I separated after going to therapy for about six months — just to exhaust any hope of keeping our family together. Being married to a woman was not what I had envisioned for my life.
I really loved reading about Linda and Bruce’s life together in the 80s. It sounds so wonderful, like a constant sporty vacation complete with glamorous celebrity events. There’s so much more in Linda’s story, including a lot of respect and admiration for everything Bruce put himself through to transition. She admits that he wasn’t always present in their boys’ lives, but it sounds like she understood.
Incidentally, both Chrystie and Linda gave positive supporting statements to ABC about Bruce’s transition. 20/20 reported that Kris said “no comment,” however Kris denies this. She tweeted to Perez Hilton. “f*k you Perez no one asked me to comment ….and I’m sitting with Bruce now watching this show so let’s keep it real…LOL….” It’s dumb to attack Perez when he was just repeating what was on 20/20. Kris did tweet something really nice about Bruce.
Not only was I able to call him my husband for 25 years and father of my children, I am now able to call him my hero.
— Kris Jenner (@KrisJenner) April 25, 2015
There are so many other reasons to demonize Kris Jenner, I don’t think I can fault her for initially saying “no comment,” although she’s obviously touchy about it. It’s doubtful that she’d ever be able to write as eloquent and supportive an essay as Linda Thompson just did, but Linda had the benefit of decades to think about it and understand. She came across as such an understanding, thoughtful lady. If you find out years after you’re married that your spouse identifies as a gender you’re not even attracted to, that’s got to be hard to deal with.
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